Have you ever looked at something you were doing and just wondered if it was worth continuing with it?
Ever felt like the pressure was so great that you wanted to give up and walk away?
It seems crazy at first. Like, why would you want to throw something away just like that after all that effort, work, and sacrifice?
But you know what brings people to that point?
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- A desire for peace.
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- A desire to move onto something appears to be more profitable and would therefore be worth their time and energy.
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- A desire to get away from the frustration of things just not clicking how they initially wanted it to.
Just to name a few.
And I found myself in a similar situation recently. Earlier this winter, I had been seriously thinking about giving up on Thriving Introvertly. I contemplated walking away from something I had been trying to build since 2020.
I thought to myself, it’s now 2022, and what do I actually have to show for it?
It’s sounds harsh I know, but isn’t that how many of us speak to ourselves? Isn’t that how many of us downplay the things we do like it was nothing? Anyways, back to the story….
Why I wanted to let it go
Several things were pushing me towards letting Thriving Introvertly go:
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- I had a website just sitting there not really doing anything,
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- I had a podcast that I felt God was leading me to end,
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- My growth on SM seemed to have reached some sort of standstill and don’t even get me started on the engagement lol.
I thought to myself “What’s there really left in all this?”.
“Am I even still in the will of God, because if I am, surely things would be different right?”
As usual, I was straight up overthinking a lot of things. I also think that deep down, a part of me didn’t think I was good enough to keep on going. I had placed the bar of perfection so high. So, if I did not meet it, anything I had done I would label as simply not being good enough.
It came to the point when time came to renew my website hosting. It was at that point where I thought it was best to start shutting things down (at least in part). And the first step I wanted to take was to not renew my website hosting.
Then God spoke
You see I also had other things that I felt God was laying on my heart. So I thought, I should probably just focus on that and set aside Thriving Introvertly.
But God reminded me of something.
Why throw away the ingredients you have that can be used to produce a good meal? Would that not be a waste of the ingredients you bought? In other words, why let all the work and effort I had put in so far go to waste just because it had not seemed to be a complete meal yet?
Don’t you just love when God just intervenes when you are about to do something way off the mark?
(can we just take like a 10sec praise right here. A praise for all the times God has stopped us from doing something off. Praise God!)
The enemy playing tricks again
The enemy will try to cause you to focus on the negatives. He wants you to overthink all the details to the point where it robs you of your peace. This can drive you into considering giving everything up just to get your peace back.
If you have ever experienced something as intense as overthinking, you would know how debilitating it can be. The hyperactivity of the mind alone is enough to get you to consider throwing away whatever is causing it just to get some peace.
But could I really be peaceful knowing I gave up on something God has for me?
Think about the story of Esau and Jacob. Esau literally sold his entire birthright just to get some food! (Bible Reference: Genesis 25:29-34).
I strongly believe that this is what the enemy is trying to get a lot of us to do. He wants us to give up what God has for us for something that appears good and satisfying in the moment but leave us disinherited in the long run.
Bringing it back into Alignment
After some time spent seeking and somewhat wrestling with God, I realized that God didn’t want me to give it all up but simply re-evaluate how I did things.
I brought things into alignment with how I felt He wanted it to be done in the most authentic way possible. Authentic to Kingdom, not culture.
I had two things that He had laid on my heart and it wasn’t that I should give up on one for the other but rather marry the two in such a way that I never saw until He revealed it.
Lessons Learnt
Lesson One: In my case, I learnt that before you throw something away just like that, think twice.
Not every day start again, sometimes just step back and listen lol. Be still and listen to His direction. You can’t build something if you keep stopping and starting again. Do not let the enemy get you to a place of always starting but never actually building.
Thriving Introvertly Diaries Entry #1
Lesson Two: Many things we look to as measures of “success”, put us under unnecessary pressure. If they are not reached, it tries to imply that perhaps what we are doing is not worth it. That’s not true.
Anything that is being done for the Kingdom of God is always worth it. We may not see it now, we may see it later or in the time to come. Either way, It’s always worth it.
I had to acknowledge that this work is precious. This work is valuable and I did not need anyone or any metric to confirm or validate that.
Lesson Three: I literally thought of this as I am editing this post lol. But the other lesson was to remember to use the resources I have created for others for myself also.
I realized how during this time I forgot I had created a resource for “Dealing with Overthinking”. While other days I seem to have it a bit under control, there are other days where it can just be a struggle.
Maybe you also need to go back to the advise you have given others and use that apply that for yourself too. God can use YOU to speak to YOU.
Lesson Four: God can use pressure and a difficult situation you are in to bring about a resolution. But He can’t do that if you don’t seek Him, if you don’t ask Him or create space for Him to direct and help you.
If I was not intentional about trying to seek out some answers, we could have been having a whole different conversation here.
Conclusion
I say all these things to say, if you feel like giving up on something, ask yourself why? What is the enemy trying to steal so he could kill and eventually destroy?
Is it an alignment issue? Do you just need to do things in a different way? Sometimes the answer is not to just simply throw in the towel but simply re-strategize.
With that said, Thriving Introvertly is here to stay for however long God deems it necessary. I pray that as I share my own journey with you all, that it continues to inspire, empower and encourage you as you embark on your own personal journey to Thriving Introvertly.
What this means is essentially growing and evolving to become all of who God created you to be.
If you are on Medium, be sure to follow me over there too by visiting the link below:
https://medium.com/@thrivingintrovertly
To officially be part of the Thriving Introvertly community, subscribe HERE.
Diary Entry #2 of TI Diaries will be coming out next week.
Until next time,
Stay Blessed,
Tosin
4 Responses
This is so powerful! Thanks for sharing this! This is so personal and extremely encouraging. Keep doing all the Lord calls you to do , in the good and the bad times, keep building. If He called you to do something, do it and leave the results to God!
Thank you Stephanie, I really appreciate it! Glad you found it encouraging and Yes Amen to that 🙏🏾
I am so absolutely grateful for your Thriving Introvertly Diaries. It’s like you were speaking directly to my heart. This is exactly what I needed. Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable, transparent and share your journey with us.
Thank you Luverta… I appreciate it! Really glad this spoke to you and that you found it helpful 🙏🏾