Almost every introvert grows up thinking this: why am I not like everyone else? It can be quite strange considering that the population of the world is almost more than half introverted. If that is the case, why do we say things like this?
The truth is, while more than half of the world’s population is considered introverted, many introverts have felt they needed to behave opposite to how they were made due to pressures from society, colleagues, organizations and sometimes friends.
When introverts push back or dampen their introvert qualities, we have less and less introverts embracing who they are and the cycle goes on and on.
Introverts start to believe that things always have to be this way. And because of this, here are 5 things that every introvert needs to hear in order to break out of this cycle and begin embracing how you were made to be.
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Other introverts are struggling too
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You are not on your own in this. Even if others don’t show it, trust me when I say it doesn’t mean that they don’t feel it too.
I remember interviewing a guest I had on a podcast some years ago and they mentioned how she had had a breakdown during their regular check-in with their line manager.
This was due to being stressed and overwhelmed by being in a team that was not conducive to how she worked as an introvert.
In this moment she discovered her manager was also an introvert who understood exactly what she was experiencing. He recommended a book to her which helped to learn more about who she was and her strengths as an introvert.
This shows that there are other introverts out there who get you. What you are finding difficult is not unique to you and there is a whole community out there who get it.
So next time you try to get in your head about your struggles, remember that there is someone out there, people out there, that can relate.
Sometimes the great contributor to freedom is first believing and acknowledging you are not on your own.
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Others will take the mask off if you do
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Continuing on from the story of the person I interviewed on my podcast, her talk with her manager led to her changing teams and even discovering that some of her other colleagues felt like her.
This goes to show that sometimes you have to be willing to take off the mask first and be real and vulnerable about your struggles as an introvert for others to open up too. When you are honest, it gives other people permission to do the same.
Some people may not be willing to do it first, but if you are, others could follow suit. But even if they don’t, at least you will feel the freedom that comes with no longer having to pretend to be someone you are not and begin embracing your unique strengths while acknowledging your weaknesses.
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Your unique qualities are needed
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As introverts, there are unique qualities that we possess such as the ability to listen attentively to others, to observe and see what some others may miss and to dwell in restorative solitude that helps us recharge and get back in alignment when needed.
We are also really creative and are able to think deeply about things. We are therefore more likely to consider all aspects before making decisions leading to well-thought-out solutions and ideas.
As you can see, we possess many unique qualities that the world needs. If everyone spoke more than they listened, who would listen? If everyone was loud, who would be quiet enough to hear?
This is certainly not a space where we talk down on extroverts but rather a place where we highlight the value introverts bring in their authenticity. Introverts are needed to provide a much needed balance in the world we are in.
But if you believe your qualities are not needed and therefore you don’t offer them, embrace them or practice them, we would be tipping the world off-balance and we certainly don’t need anymore of that.
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Working on your weaknesses doesn’t mean abandoning your strengths
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Like everyone else, we introverts do have our weaknesses. There are some things that others do better than us and/or it just doesn’t come as naturally to us.
Staying true to who we are doesn’t mean we are opposed to growth and improving in areas that we need to. But improving in areas doesn’t mean we completely neglect our strengths.
How I like to see it is that I can work on an area of weakness e.g. networking, and use my strengths to improve in that area.
If I prefer to be with people I am familiar with and/or in a small group setting, does this mean I am not going to speak to new people ever in my life? No, that wouldn’t be realistic. Instead, what I can do is use my strengths to improve in my weaknesses and trust that God will take care of the rest.
One thing I have seen someone do is set up their own networking chats where they can have 1-on-1s with people. Another thing that comes to mind is approaching a networking event to speak with specific people 1-on-1 or in small settings. That way, I would have met new people but in a way that plays to my strengths.
There are so many creative ways that you can do these things but the fact of the matter is, working on your weaknesses doesn’t mean you have to abandon your strengths. You can use them to help you improve in areas you need more help in and trust that God will do the rest.
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Your point of view and contribution matters
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We may not be the loudest in the room but that doesn’t mean that our contribution or point of view doesn’t matter. We may not speak a lot but when we do, we speak words that add value and contribute greatly.
So never think to yourself that because others who may seem louder than you are making some great points that means that your point of view isn’t needed.
You never know how many people need to hear the point of view you have and though it may not seem like it was celebrated or acknowledged, there are some who would be grateful to hear it from you whether they showed it or not.
Never let your voice be silenced by the loudness and hostile faces of other people. What you have to contribute matters even if people don’t show it. Sometimes you have to first believe it before others can believe and see it. But if you do not see it for yourself, how can you expect others to?
The End
So those are the 5 things that every introvert needs to hear and I believe that these will help someone out there in some way. You are needed in this world, fellow introvert. Don’t doubt that. Don’t hide your true self away for fear of rejection or being casted away. We thrive when we live in a place of authenticity.
Even if you try to run away from your authentic self, eventually you are going to have to come back. Why? Because when you are out of alignment with who you are made to be, things can take place that make things 10 times harder than they were ever supposed to be.
It’s kind of like taking a fish out of water, it won’t survive very long and has to be put back into the water. Maybe it’s time for you to come back home to yourself, this is the place where you flourish, this is the place where you can truly thrive.
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Until the next post,
Stay Blessed,
Tosin
